Guilt and the yellow purse
Wednesday 10 March 2010 at 10:00 am
There’s a Dutch expression that roughly translates to ‘money’s got to roll’ (geld moet rollen). Money needs to be spent, not saved, so to say. It’s a very ‘un-Dutch’ expression, since we are nationally and internationally knows as greedy little bastards, who ‘go Dutch’ on every occasion. Bragging about how cheap something was is a national sport and not having money in your savings account is considered very irresponsible and usually a secret you keep even from friends.
I’ve been raised like most Dutch kids have, and I have learned to work hard and save for a rainy day. Unlike many of my fellow citizens, I, however, have never been really good at this. I try saving, I try to look for deals online before going shopping, I try to think of my pension and have a feeling I should worry even more about paying off my student loans. But, I’ve got to be honest here. I’ve never been any good at it. The only result of my Dutch upbringing is the enormous amount of guilt I experience every time I buy something I don’t actually need. And to be honest, I don’t need that much, but have plenty of wants.
So, I’ve been thinking. Maybe I should just say ef it? Maybe I should just accept that after almost 26 years I don’t know how to save up for things, I have more clothing than I could ever wear, I don’t honestly care about paying too much for something I like, and I forget about how much money I earn all the time. So who cares? I like fashion. I like buying useless little cute things and art I have no room for on my walls. I like thinking about where to travel to next. I like spending money on food and drinks enjoyed on a terrace in the sun, even if I’m overpaying and overtipping the waiters. Even if that does mean I have to eat noodles the rest of the month.
Now, I’m not saying I should just go ahead and spend all my money and not think of the consequences. I’m not irresponsible. All I’m thinking is that, well, maybe I should stop feeling so damn guilty whenever I do happen to spend money on something I like. Because right now, as it is, I am not even enjoying those purchases I am trying to avoid (but still can’t resist) because I feel I shouldn’t have bought anything besides the absolute minimum. And that people, to me, is a complete waste of money.
So I bought a bright yellow, genuine leather purse at Macy’s while I was in New York. I don’t necessary needed it, but I wanted it. And I love it. It’s yellow (hello!), it’s soft, it has about six different compartments, exactly the kind of straps I like and it smells good.
Oh and it was on sale. Wooot!
(You can’t get all the Protestantism out of an atheist girl, it seems)
This is very recognisable! It has taken me quite some time to get to a point where I can just relax, getting used to having money to spend was a big deal for me. Luckily I do get to save up, and I have enough savings to pay off my student loans which I plan to do. (less interest on my savings account than I pay over the loan.)
I’m the kind of person who would rather buy every Calvin & Hobbes album on it’s own over a period in time that drop a lot of money once for the collection. Even if in the long run the collection would be cheaper. I did buy it though, it was scary, but I did it. :)
And your bag is awesome, I want one just like it. :)
I’m pretty much the same and I don’t have that much Dutch blood running through my veins. Only a bit since my greatgrandmother was from Zeeland. Still, I have the same problem. I guess it’s because the way my parents raised me. So I’m an awesome saver and a terrible spender. I rarely ever buy anything new and when I buy something it will most likely be on sale. And don’t get me started on big and important purchases. Over the weekend, we bought a vacuum cleaner. I went through hell and I’m still trying to accept that we spent that amount of money.
To be honest, I truly hate this. I don’t want money to be an issue for me. I want to enjoy my life and not always think “Oh no, I’ll buy that later when I have a bit more of money”. I’m not rich, but I don’t struggle with the money I have either. Definitely something I’m working on.
And boy oh boy, that’s a gorgeous bag!
Same here! I start every month with the same trust in myself not to take back the money I “send” to my saving account. And every month, when I start saving a couple of euro’s – at the end I need them.. Or wel, need is a big word.
I don’t seem to manage saving (a lot of) money. And sometimes it kills me (mostly when I got unexpected bills or when things get broken). But most of the time I enjoy spending…
Like another Dutch saying: I work to live, I don’t live to work..
Well, it seems to me you are just enjoying life! :-) And there’s always a good reason for buying such a great purse, so don’t feel guilty and enjoy it!
Hi! I’m new to your blog & LOVE your artwork!
I’m exactly the same: ‘Dutch protestant’ in upbringing – as far as saving money goes, as well as that other famous saying ‘just be normal, and you’ll be crazy enough!’ ;) while being a ‘crazy atheist’ in life & spending patterns :) And like you, I feel the guilt something awful!
But just looking at that yellow purse makes me very happy :) & happiness should count for something, shouldn’t it?!
Great Purse! You really do NEED it. Sometimes yu just have to do these things for yourself. Loving your journal pages too!
Best-
Ingrid
I just read this post, most particularly the bit about buying pretty things and not minding paying lots of money for things you really want, and breathed a massive sigh of relief. I have a crippling addiction to paper goods, letter paper, notes cards, if it’s papery and cute I’ll buy it and and lately I can’t seem to stop shopping for clothes and sometimes the guilt is overwhelming but at least now I know I’m not the only one and that loving pretty things is absolutely justifiable!
KRW X